I always have a setback as every people leave me alone in the middle of the way and that’s why I am facing anxiety attacks and depression. And also in the past, had a lot of struggles and setbacks in relationships. Kindly guide me on how to deal with such a situation!!
First thing is not to analyse oneself in an effort to understand the reason for one’s depression. The mind, especially when in a state of depression, is unable to see clearly and often tends to blame others for one’s own state. But what we need to do is to take complete charge of our lives, regardless of what others are or do. People may or may not understand us; they may or may not reciprocate to our love, yet that is no reason why we should be unhappy. It means that we have given away our happiness in the hands of others. If we give something to someone, it should be a spontaneous, uncalculating gesture of love. It is done for the joy of giving and not with the idea of receiving anything in return. Because then we start calculating and often fail to notice the little ways that the other person is also giving to us. The means and ways may be different, but usually life operates ordinarily on the basis of give and take. And if we were to recognise more often what we are receiving from life, whether from this or that source, we would be full of gratitude and joy.
Secondly, the more we think about ourselves, the more we become miserable because there is always the sense of something missing. This should actually turn into an aspiration and a thirst for progress, but instead, it takes the form of unhappiness. It is a subtle truth of life that the more we chase happiness, the more it escapes us. And the more we progress, in whatever field and whatever way, the more we feel happy.
So, the best is not to think about what others do or do not do, whether people are kind and good to you, or they do not recognise you. Do what your heart is deeply moved to do and do it as an act of love, and you will always be happy. And if you can add to this a conscious offering of your actions to the Divine, then there will be no limit to your joy and He will give you all that and much more than what you ever need.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
