AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Alok Da, how to deal with your near ones when you know they are manipulating you and have that kind of nature? 🙁

Human beings, more often than not tend to manipulate, though not necessarily consciously. It is simply because they place their personal interest above all else. As long as this seed of selfishness is ingrained within humanity one has to take it as man’s second nature. It is only as humanity moves towards the spirit of unity through love and begin to live more through the sattwic rather than rajasic mode, that they begin to think of others. Or else when they draw closer to their soul and as a result sympathy, kindness begin to emerge into the human play. 

So generally it is not surprising if people openly or subtly manipulate. Most often people deal with this in the spirit of give and take. They concede something in order to gain something. That is how mutual co-operation is built up. However one should be clear about what are the things or values that one is completely unwilling to compromise upon. This is where one should keep a watch and if we see that this core of oneself or the core value is getting manipulated, then one should firmly refuse to do so. 

It is also important to become conscious of the weak or blind spots that allows one to be manipulated. Is it need for praise, or hope / promise of material gains, or emotional softness and an inability to say No. It is  good to keep some boundaries that are not to be transgressed by just about anybody. It is somewhat like, not all can have access to your private personal space without your consent. For most it is the drawing room and the study. Giving access too soon to your inner space and sharing your secrets freely makes one vulnerable to being manipulated. 

At the end of the day all these things to teach us something or the other about ourselves and about life. Instead of wasting time on condemning those who manipulate, it is best to grow conscious and seal those weak spots that open the doors to being manipulated. 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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