Also, I am someone who considers my body to be pious and I am not at ease to have again and again allowed my body to be presented to him, despite knowing his intentions clearly, that he is not committing to have me as his life partner. Now, we are apart for more than 6 months.. we are still in touch over phone..but not in proximity. But every now and then my body craves for his physical proximity. What to do??
What has happened has happened. It serves no purpose looking back and feeling bad. Life gives several learning lessons. This is one of them and a very precious one. One needs to understand that the way a woman feels and experiences life is very different from the way men do. Men live largely in the mind and are unlikely to get emotionally involved because the passions got engaged. Women live largely in the heart and hence they get easily emotionally involved, passion or no passion. This difference needs to be understood. That is why in a relationship women are much more likely to be emotionally hurt then men.
The other part is about the body’s needs. Once awakened they take long time to settle down. In older times marraige was the solution adviced for the same. But it often impacts our other aspects of life especially studies and career possibility. The healthy way to handle the need for physical proximity is to get very busy, especially in intellectual pursuits and physical work. Along with that one should engage in vigorous physical exercises. A combination of Asanas and vigorous workout works best.
As to the body’s purity, there is no need to link it with physical intimacy with someone. Physical intimacy is part of human physical need as of now. It takes time to handle it. Your body is still as pure as any human body is. Of course one can purify it further and there is no end to it. But that requires engaging in yoga, the yoga of the body which is a different subject. Fidelity in marraige or even mere physical abstinence does not make the body pure. What it does achieve, and that is something not small, is to align our mind and heart and body which builds a state of inner harmony and peace. That is the difference between physical intimacy without love and the same act flowing from within as an extension of love. Frankly a man who engages in physical intimacy without love and encourages the partner to do so is completely unreliable. One should allow one’s discernment to act and control the emotions here since by engaging with such a person they are likely to be hurt more and more. Take it as a timely lesson of life, a Grace that has taught you a great truth with little loss and, move on towards a beautiful future awaiting you.
Affectionately
Alok Da
