Alok da, Mother has said never scold a child , now I never scolded my son now he is 11. Due to this two things have happened one he is on his adolescence and he just does not listen like if I tell him to pick up his clothes or put his shoes in its place from the living room now when I sternly tell, pick it up right now after 4-5 reminders then only the work is done and on the other side since he is not use to scolding at home if he faces a strict teacher or some bully in school he starts crying … so I know Ma can never be wrong but please advise in this situation 😥

The Mother was not against being firm to help the child form good habits and discipline. Scolding, especially with anger distorts a child’s consciousness. He either reacts with fear or with revolt. Both are harmful. Softness can be corrected through games, adventure activities, sports etc but hardness is much more difficult. Besides as children move up the ladder of evolution they become sensitive to vibrations which teachers and elders do not understand. So though outwardly it is an elder scolding or shouting down a child, it gets translated in the child’s consciousness as a wild animal attacking a human. They feel scared and if persisted with it scars and child. Some children these days give it back, others just keep the anger within which gets released at home or sublimated through sport. It is the teachers and such elders who need to be educated. The children need to grow strong and courageous but not through scolding but games and sports.

Affectionately,

Alok Da