Sir, honestly speaking – as I have problems in life as well and material desires and genuine seeking and curiosity for the divine. That is the reason I am at the feet of Maa and Sri Aurobindo.
But I don’t know what I will do in life. And I don’t know what the actual goal of spirituality and sadhana is. Most of the spiritual books I read and gurus I followed said moksh and mukti from the cycle of birth and death is the goal. Yeh sansaar dukho ka ghar hai, murdon ka ghar hai; yeh sansaar nashvar hai and aur iske bhog Vish k barabar hai.
Then I started doing my sadhana (meditation and mantra sadhana and reading praises of deity and performing rituals and paying for hawan). Phir jab last year aapke lectures Auromaa pe dekha toh aapne bahut saare lectures mein kaha ki the goal of moksh is very selfish. That had hit me really hard. My seeking of spiritual life started in 2019 and I was going through a bad phase.
I used to watch videos and read a lot. Then, from 2021, I learnt different meditation and, kriyas and mantra sadhana. Followed guru after guru, but uske baad bhi koi changes nahi dikha. When I read ki sadhana se Mukti milti hai and then I became really consistent with my practices. Making liberation my ultimate goal.
Uske baad internet se bahut kuch pata chala and bahut saare manifestation and material progress ke liye bhi sadhana ke baare mein pata chala. Usi time das mahavidyas k baare mein pata chala. Then I became materialistic, hoping ki sadhana se yeh mil jayega, woh mil jayega. But never lost my curiosity for the divine. Phir kahin kahin padha ki bhagwan formless hote hai and the deities exist only in the realm of prakriti and the supreme divine is beyond prakriti. Deities ki sadhana hume sirf unke loko tak pahucha sakti hai. Real sadhana is Brahm vidya. But still, I have this curiosity as to how God helps us for our genuine needs and in reality, bhagwan ko kaise experience kiya jaye
I only pray to god to help me in helping others, making of some use of this country and keeping negativity and anger in check so that kisi ka bura naa kare hum. I only want him to guide me to the right guides, the right guru and the right books. And 1 sadhana and 1 guru. Kyunki das path follow karne se kuch nahi hota. Currently, I practice Heartfulness meditation of Sri Ram Chandra Mission, Hyderabad. And Sambodh Dhyan of Maitreya Dadashreeji.
I feel it is too early or rather you are still young, to enter a path right now. It is good to read spiritual literature, explore, visit places of spiritual interest, while, at the same time, doing some work, earning a livelihood and gaining in strength and experience. Practice equanimity and dedicate your actions to God. The book that would be best suited for you would be the Gita and the writings of The Mother. If there are questions, you can always write to me as to an elder brother.
Affectionately
Alok Da
