Life is evolving and in the process discovering new possibilities, new ways of being, new modes of living. This is the first thing we need to understand. The old way of life which kept certain tendencies under check due to social and economic pressure has gone. The Time-Spirit, Yugadharma, has increased the need and demand for individual freedom and wideness. It is given so that we can discover different aspects of our complex being in our search for what is our deepest fundamental truth. That is why we see so much experimentation with life and ways of being today. It is as if a lid has been taken off and the individual has been given the freedom to choose, – either a leap towards the future or a plunge towards the abyss. That is why we see today a breaking of boundaries in search of the ideal. The old way of one partner for one life has gone as had become a ground for hypocrisy and deception, even perversions of a worse kind than possible through this freedom and experimentation. Though it is disturbing for the moment it will eventually replace artificiality with authenticity.
Consistent with the demand of Yuga dharma one should respond to the partner being in love with someone with freedom, plasticity and wideness. If love is true it remains stable through everything and every disturbance ends up eventually strengthening it. If its basis was mere social or legal document then it gives time to reorient oneself and the relationship. If there was love to begin with one should look within and see what didn’t work or perhaps could not keep pace with the evolutionary pressure that one feels today in every area of life. This helps one grow conscious and correct oneself and recalibrate the relationship, say into a strong and healthy friendship rather than the usual marital institution we see today. Ultimately friendship is the best possible relation one can have in general if we remove the intimate physical part. Of course if the partner wants to separate, one should let him or her go as a last act of love and chalk out one’s own course. After all someone’s going away from one’s life is not life going away. We must rebuild on a new basis, learn, grow, adapt, evolve which is far better than lament, complaint, hate and despise.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
