I want to mention one of my dreams that I saw one day before: I saw a girl and something was coming to her at great speed. When I see something coming near me so fast, what I usually do is to protect myself by putting up my hands and sometimes I feel like selfish because I think first about myself, but here in my dream I just came in front of the girl to protect her, without even thinking about myself once.
I felt so happy because, without thinking about myself, I came to protect someone else. When I think about this self-giving and consecration to the Divine, just forgetting ourselves and giving ourselves completely to Her, how beautiful that would be, but I just don’t know what is holding me back. Most of the time, I just forget to remember and offer, but when the sense or feeling that I belong completely to Her stays with me, that gives happiness and energy to walk further, but the thing is that it doesn’t last for long. Then I think about Radha’s prayer and wonder, why am I unable to live with this consciousness?
Self giving to the Divine is more than selflessness. Selflessness loosens the knot of the ego, but still we may not act according to the Divine Will. Bhishma was quite selfless, renouncing the throne and serving as a shield to the throne of Hastinapur, defending the king regardless of who he was. But he was acting in opposition to the Divine Will. Self-giving means to live for the Divine, to make the Divine Service the very motive of all our actions. It means to direct our thoughts to the Divine, to think of the Divine instead of the thousand useless things. With feelings, it means to direct our love and attachment towards the Divine while having a universal love for all free from all attachment. For the body, self-giving means to put the bodily instrument in the Divine Service rather than for the satisfactions of the ego. It is a whole sadhana in its own right, but if it can be due to the blossoming of love for the Divine, then it becomes, the shortest and swiftest path to the Divine.
Inner remembrance of the Divine is a method, a powerful method, but self-giving is much more. It is to think only of the Divine, love only the Divine, serve only the Divine.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
