I am in a relationship with a girl 5 years older than me. We both want to stay together with the Mother’s Grace and we both want to grow spiritually as both of us together see your videos and read the Gita and various books of Sri Aurobindo and Swami Ji.
We see a very spiritually and materially fulfilled life together, but although we are of the same caste, both of our parents don’t agree because typically the girl is younger; here, in our case, it is just the reverse.
They say that there will be many ill outcomes of this Marriage, but I can’t see any scriptural evidence of refusal of such a marriage. Can you guide us on how we can convince our parents and make them believe that we can lead a Beautiful and Spiritual Life together? What is your view on this case, or as per the Mother?
Is there any mythological evidence of such a marriage? Is there any wrong output of such a marriage when the boy is younger than the girl? Please enlighten me. I am invoking the Mother for help every day.
There is no such rule for the girl to be younger than the boy for marriage. It is mainly a social conditioning, partly for progeny purposes, because the chances of first time normal healthy pregnancy become less as the woman advances in age, especially after 38 years, pregnancy becomes a high risk. The other advantage of a younger girl was rooted in the tradition that a woman has to leave her parents’ place and live with the in-laws. It is easier, in such circumstances, for a younger girl to adjust than an older one. It also gives a sense of security, which women often need. But other than these primarily social reasons, there is absolutely no problem or rule regarding age. It is a convention whose scriptural validity comes due to the advantage of having a child early. But always, there have been instances of older women marrying younger men, such as Balaram and Pradyumna. Though Sri Krishna didn’t marry Radha, she was older than Sri Krishna.
In any case, we are living in an Age when norms are changing fast, traditions are being overpassed and the scripture is being replaced by the truth of one’s feeling in the heart. Affinity and compatibility are, in any case, more important considerations than outer norms. 🌹
Affectionately,
Alok Da
