Dharma is about our individual conduct regardless of what others do or do not do. One thing is obvious that parents (as well as others) behave and act according to their level of awareness and ignorance. We cannot blame a person for the disease called Ignorance. It is so universal. They are what they are as Nature made them so to say.
Yes they should change, they can change but only if they feel the need. We cannot change anyone. So at best we can give them suggestions but we cannot force or insist upon it. In fact it becomes difficult to change as the years pass as one becomes rigid in outlook. So we can only forgive, be compassionate, if needed minimise the contact especially if it becomes toxic but never harbour grudge.
This does not mean obeying them blindly, fulfil their expectations etc, that is not to be done for anyone except someone who lives in the Truth. But when we turn down their unfair requests we can do it gently with love in the heart than anger and vengeance. All spiritual teachings tell us that we are not here to fulfil the demand of parents or for that matter anyone but the truth within our heart and the higher Will in whatever way it manifests in us. We see this in the life of all the Avatars and in their teachings. If they press too much we can explain our viewpoint rationally. If they still press we can firmly refuse. If this does not affect our care and love for them then over a period of time they will understand. Even if they don’t well, the Divine will understand.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
Affectionately,
Alok Da
