AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

I’m almost 30 years old. My parents want me to get married as I’m their single child, so they are in a hurry. Whenever they show me some bio of a guy, I get so much disturbed with that, like there’s a fear in my whole being and I usually get angry or rather cry. I always wonder why we waste our time in these marriage talks. Even though I want to get married but I’m not that much in a hurry, ..❤️✨🤝💍

I always feel that when time comes Mother will arrange everything. When I think of this thing, there’s always a peace in my mind and my heart. So, here is my first question, Is this my Tamasic surrender? That Mother will do everything and I’m completely unbothered.

Secondly dada, I always feel that love marriage is ideal because you already know the person and their way of thinking, because I really wanted to pursue the path of Yoga and spirituality. Although my family is open to Love marriage, but I haven’t found the right person so far. So, there’s a hurry to Arrange marriage, but what scares me is how can you know a person by meeting him twice or thrice? Also, what if the person and his family will not support me towards the path of The Mother & Sri Aurobindo? Dada I always feel I’m here on Earth not just for mere enjoyment, we all have some purpose on Earth and we are here for that thing only, and I want someone with whom the path of Yoga becomes more beautiful and we work together for the Victory of our Divine Mother. Please Enlighten dada.

This is a feeling natural to those who are inwardly developed and have a conscious spiritual goal. Arranged or otherwise this should be a minimum base so that the married life does not come much in the way. Though, to a certain extent marraige does absorb a lot of energy in simply maintaining the framework of outer life leaving less time for higher pursuits. Still finding someone with the same spiritual aim does at least help to keep oriented correctly, join together in the common aim and avoids certain complexities arising out of the sense of incompleteness in the very core. It is best therefore to clarify about the goal. 

As to other things, such as an affinity of tastes and temperament it is best if it is there but then it is quite rare to find that. In any case one cannot know that simply by meeting and exchanging thoughts. Living together is the only way to find out that. But that is not always possible. Short of that, one cannot really gauge. There is a big difference between knowing people through letters, conversations etc and actually living together. That is why there is no guarantee about love marraige as well, leave aside the fact that different people give a different meaning to the word adding to the confusion. 

In any case the future depends upon number of uncertain factors and hence it is best approached with trust in the Divine Grace. Whatever it be if one wants to get married then it is best not to delay too much as the challenges increase with age especially if one wants to have a child. But if one wants only friendship and a partner then it is a different thing. In any case it is good to give sufficient time and not rush into an impulsive decision. May The Mother’s Grace be with you and help you be with the right person with whom your life would blossom. 

Affectionately 

Alok Da 

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