AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

Is it wrong according to our traditions to choose not to wear sindoor, mangalsutra, or toe rings after marriage? My in-laws keep questioning me, saying that I’m becoming too Westernized😒

These traditions including outer marks to define our identity have a social and symbolic significance rather than moral and spiritual. All societies try to cement and hold together the group-life by enjoining certain common external codes and customs. But these things have nothing deeper about it. They do not indicate the love that one holds in the heart nor the goodness one embodies. 

Now we have entered an age of Truth and a larger spirit of human unity. Hence these traditions once considered sacred are breaking down everywhere. Whatever their value at one point of time they are now a sign of limiting the human spirit in a narrow mould that stifles the free expansion of the Soul that seeks to break every barrier of religion and tradition. It is naturally disconcerting to those who are still entrenched in the old consciousness but this change is inevitable and good. 

We need to differentiate between that which is eternally good, things of universal value such as Truth, Love, Beauty, Peace and behind it all the Divine Presence. There are other things that come up due to the demands of Time according to the Age one lives in and pass away in the flow of Time to make room for new things to come. This has always been the teaching of Sanatana Dharma, to hold on to that which is eternal and universal, that which is the abiding truth while changing the outer form according to the demands of the Age. The truth of marriage is the truth of love and mutual respect, togetherness in joys and sorrows, the union of two souls and heart and mind and body in a common life, joining of two flames of aspiration towards higher things supporting each other’s journey. What has sindoor and bichhiya got to do with it? 

Affectionately,

Alok Da

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