I have realised that this happens either because I dont see much result in being pure and seek temporary relief from accrued tension, or because I know that I will be back on my track of purity without much harm so even if I break the streak it wont matter much. Having said all of this, I realise that I dont like breaking the streak and being pure synchronizes with my basic nature. So I wish to inculcate a more stable and constant state of purity but it does not happen. Indulging in some things leads to temporary relief from tension and sadness. Please throw some light.
What we normally call purity is a negative state of non-indulgence in activities that are considered bad or harmful from the moral point of view. It is no doubt helpful as all efforts at self-mastery and self-control are. But the problem is that the vacuum left by the energies that were being channeled through the indulgence are sooner or later refilled by the same energies that keep increasing and push for the same expression out of sheer habit.
This negative purity must be supplemented by the positive movement of uplifting and channelising the energies (through conscious aspiration and in activities such as sports, swadhyaya, meditation etc) so that they can be uplifted and placed under the influence of higher and higher consciousness. Eventually the true purity is to respond only to the Divine Influence.
Affectioantely,
Alok Da
