AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

It’s a bit grueling, so the aspiration gets clouded and one is left exhausted. There is much insincerity, so I have to work. I am pushing Her away with my insincerity, so I feel guilty about that. Just hoping that Mother’s presence and guidance is still there somewhere behind the surface, even if I can’t feel it. Am I reading too much into it and should do whichever feels right to the best of my evaluation, do it with the best intentions and offer to Mother?😶‍🌫️☁️🌫️🌪️

follow up question, if I may: the guidance is unable to come through the turbidity, I understand, but what I am seeking isn’t guidance for success of the outer ventures as much as guidance for which path will be best suited to the inner development. I have had guidance in the past when some major decisions were to be made. Many years ago, almost a decade ago, I had an inner message that simply said: “community of learning, Ramanagram, 100 kms from Bangalore”. It was just those words and I didn’t really pay much attention or attached any significance to it then. Over the last 2 years, I have been working towards building a small educational and research setup in Ramanagram District outside Bangalore, that aligned with my ideals for education and that paid heed to that message, that I’ve taken as the guiding light. 

Recently, I happened to visit the Centre for Learning, which fits the description  – it is a good, thoughtful school in a community setup in Ramanagram, based loosely on Jiddu Krishnamurthy (even if the Jiddu philosophy and practice doesn’t align with many of my own ideas) Mother has often opened the door for me at the right time and the Centre for Learning, which is a Jiddu Krishnamurthy inspired school with a good, positive environment, came into light. Part of me says I should go there, build slowly in that setup, learn more about schooling and practice the yoga patiently, and another part says that I can also begin a small setup that aligns more closely with my ideals outside Bangalore, as the message came, and grow that. 

I have my own ambitions, desires that are still strong to setup something “of my own” etc., so the guidance I have been asking Mother for was to lead me to whatever will be best suited for inner growth independent of my egoistic preferences that I have reasoned out.

Or is there something in persevering for the right guidance, to place the question to Her in silence and wait? 

The first thing needed is to be conscious of your aspiration and the true goal. All these ideas are good but they belong to the realm of ignorance. First and foremost one should strive more and more to realise the Divine or at least, establish a settled peace in the mind and heart. Similarly whatever one might do the goal should be to first unite with the Divine. Until then all that one is doing must have that as the main goal. 

As to the choice between the options before you, it would be more helpful if you join the Centre of learning at this point of time. The time for starting something of your own is yet to arrive. At least you should wait for a few years before starting your own new venture. 

Take Mother’s Name as often as you can and surrender all to Her with complete faith. 

Affectioantely,

Alok Da

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