Understanding is like knowing about things, but to feel and live alone can truly give that satisfaction for the inner seeking I feel, which still seems not within my reach. I hope to find a being in me that can effectively seek and pursue and evolve by reading The Mother and Sri Aurobindo’s books and listening to your talks. But even reading, I cannot sometimes because I don’t feel like it. Don’t know why.
What you are experiencing is a passage, a transition that everyone experiences. But the fact that you feel drawn in some way, however vaguely, is a sign that your nature, destiny and behind it all, the Divine Will is pushing you towards the spiritual life. Just keep nourishing and nurturing your seeking. Read, hear, think, if possible meditate to find the purpose of your life. Slowly the hidden sun will rise, the aspiration wake, the clouds scatter and you will gradually feel a new light dawning within you. Read something from their writings every day, and when possible, see if you can make a visit to Pondicherry. Do stay in touch.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
