However, I do remember that the Mother said that we must face everything and never shun away from anything but put each thing in its place. The universal forces and the intensities and the strangeness of these and the high and terrible pitch that these have are also to be faced with calm – because that is what we have been told by the Mother and Sri Aurobindo – that our Soul and Self have the power to deal with these universal forces of ignorance and darkness. That is the message that I have received – that we have a warrior vital being in us and that if it gets defeated and thrashed a few times, then still we have to get up and face all these troubles – because you can either face them now or do it later when you leave the body.
The real issue with my experience wasn’t that I was afraid of the universal darkness and weird and strange and a fast-paced negative ideas and negativity that surrounded and hit me from all sides – the real issue was the physical body – both gross physical and subtle-physical body was the issue – because it is the body that was afraid. It was the body that got shocked and panicked. It was the physical brain and subtle physical nervous system that started panicking- ‘Oh, I’m too limited to deal with these universal and immense forces and formations’ – that was what the body was saying. My soul wasn’t worried, because I know that it is just a play of infinite being and my soul is above and beyond these – it is of a supreme nature which can’t be tortured by these, and there is a light that it has that can calm everything. But because of the insincerity, my soul withdrew a little – because my soul doesn’t like insincerity – it doesn’t accept that – it doesn’t accept everything passively – so it withdraws the support, but there is always a link and the prayer to the Divine calls my soul back to my body and then it calms things – it endures – intense pain – the immensity of the forces that we were playing with were such that a little error can cause a catastrophe (in the physical body). So a very calm and precise and delicate channelling of the forces and formations is needed – which wasn’t there because the desire forces showed up and something in me supported them – subconscient and mechanical consent was given.
And there is another side of the story, which is that the drying, astringent and heating effects of the cannabis flower are useful for detoxifying the body – that extreme drying effect can heal many issues in the body. It is like going through chemotherapy in a way.
And what about the opening to the Pranic forces – if the purity is there then this prana can be utilised – and I have had experiences with this pranic ‘urja’ that heals – it heals at a cellular level – it awakens everything – it is a link – this is what the body understands …. that prana is the touch of the divine or it opens to the divine. So that is important for rejuvenation – not just detoxification.
Obviously, the trouble is that there this is a mechanical or chemical method, which can’t be the ultimate way.
But the point is that we can’t turn away from these experiences – we have to face everything with calm and know that our Soul and the Divine have the power to put everything in its place and show us the right way forward.
I’m not advocating for using cannabis but I’m absolutely telling myself that we can’t be afraid of whatever infinite forces that come to us because we have the Infinite in us our Soul is made of the Divine substance and we are the children of the Divine Mother and we may be defeated and our instruments may be troubled but we as soul will always take up any challenge although we will learn from our experiences and ensure that we go through the purification necessary. Like Sri Aurobindo said in his letters – first, Spiritual: some major realisations must come; then we can enter safely into the Occult.
Fear of course is the greatest impurity. And yes, the Soul in man is greater than his fate. It has within it the capacity to endure everything and turn even the seemingly most negative experiences into steps for ascension.
Yes, I am aware of the effects of cannabis. Besides, like any method, things have a different effect depending upon the dosage. In any case, outer methods have a limited utility. That is why Sri Aurobindo advocates aspiration, faith, sincerity and surrender as the mainstay of the Yoga. Here is a passage from his well-known book The Mother, which you might have read.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
