In such a situation, how can I maintain inner peace while also protecting my dignity and setting a necessary boundary?
Those who indulge in hurting others are already hurtling downwards. They will continue to do what they are habituated to doing. Leave them to their destiny. By getting into a retaliatory fight with them you would only hurt yourself by delaying your journey and gravitating downwards towards them. Take their insults as opportunities to progress, to discover what still reacts under the ego, what is still not under the Divine Influence. It is always the ego that gets hurt. The soul is never hurt. It smiles at the folly of those who try to hurt others and feels pity for them. Live in the soul rather than the ego.
You should take these things as tests on the path of yoga that come to distract us from our goal. After all, we are not here to be praised or understood by people but to realise the Divine, to love and be loved by the Divine. Besides, human beings live in Ignorance and are moved by ego, ambition, desires and fears. Their opinions have no value. It is only the Divine whose judgment matters. He alone knows the total Truth about us and of everyone. Therefore, we shall leave it to the Divine to decide about us. By giving importance to the opinion of others, we are giving them an undue importance. This happens generally because of certain expectations that get inbuilt into our system about people around us. We want people to fit into our ideal image. But that cannot be. Each one is on their unique journey and just because two people are living together under the same roof doesn’t necessarily mean they are on the same journey or have the same personality. The differences come because each of us is unique and different. This variation can be enriching or disturbing. Enriching if we widen ourselves and understand their point of view, disturbing if we expect them to think and feel like us. While widening and thereby growing in understanding and enriching from differences is difficult for most, getting disturbed certainly hurts and harms and leads to more and more disturbance and chaos. Of course, everything has a limit and if the presence of another person is generating constant disturbance and quarrel because of extreme differences or a power struggle to control, then it may well be better, as an extreme step, to find one’s own space so that each is free to follow their unique path and way of life.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
