Motherhood, to be complete has to be experienced as a process beginning from conception itself, in fact even before. It involves a certain physical and psychological preparation, even an inner spiritual preparation. Adoption, on the other hand is generally motivated with philanthropic ideas though sometimes it is because one is unable to conceive. The feelings evoked and the attitudes are therefore very different. As an experience of motherhood, Adoption generally cannot provide that. Yet its advantage is that one does not generally feel so deeply attached as happens when the child has grown naturally in the physical womb. The intensity and degree of emotional investment is much more and, as a result, the expectations too.
There are other issues as well. One is often in dark about the background and circumstances of being orphaned (if such be the case), the genetic and hereditary background is not known. So it is like a blind game. Not that having one’s own child is not blind. Fate finds its own way to knock at the doors. Nevertheless as human beings we want to give our best in whatever we do.
In any case, if one chooses to go in for Adoption, it is best to limit to one child. To have one adopted child and another through the normal process is not a good idea. This of course is seeing it from an impersonal point of view. Rest is a question of choice and destiny that operates in mysterious ways bringing sometimes beautiful flowers in wild surroundings and poison weeds in carefully nurtured plants.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
