Arpan means to give; samarpan means to give completely without reserve.
To give means now one has left the situation, the difficulty, the problem entirely in the hands of the Divine. It means that one now obeys the Divine Will alone and lives no more for the satisfaction of one’s ego and desires.
This is not easy, as you can see. But at least, if we have truly surrendered, then worry and anxiety have no more place. To worry after having given our problems and difficulties to the Divine is the sign of a lack of trust. Faith and surrender go together always.
2. How can I practically surrender with regard to the deep grief present in my heart concerning these events?
Write or speak to the Divine about whatever you are experiencing and ask for His help to free you from it.
3. How can I let go of the resentment and anger towards my sister-in-law and surrender this matter to God?
Why? What is the difficulty in surrendering? Why would anyone even want to hold on to such things unless it makes the ego feel superior? It is only a false sense of superiority that makes us judge others.
4. How can our spirit of forgiveness and surrender bring peace and support to our departed loved ones?
For your convenience and reference, I am also rewriting my original question and the guidance you previously provided below.
We should just think how much the departed must be suffering to see their children quarrel and hold resentment! It is not a question of forgiving but of understanding that by holding resentment, we are actually making the departed suffer even after they have left their bodies.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
