It takes time, sometimes quite a long time, decades to completely master the sexual impulse that is rooted so deeply into the physical-biological parts. Living with wife / husband keeps fuelling it further feeding it due to the close contact until it slowly wanes due mainly to overfamiliarity and a weakening of the vital intensity.
It is a process one has to go through. Sanyama, that is regulating the impulse, say once a week is the right way towards mastering it. Slowly you can increase the duration it little by little until the urge almost fades away. Though as long as the sex centre itself is not transformed and Peace, Strength, Wideness not settled there, the mastery does remain precacious. A close contact with a woman especially when alone can trigger the nerves again. So it is best avoided.
Guilt etc have to be kept out completely. It only makes matters worse rubbing salt to the injury. Keep trying self restraint and keep offering to the Mother until it is ready to be dropped off. Meanwhile stay busy, do physical workout regularly and avoid boredom.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
