However, I struggle with societal expectations to prioritize family first and a personal habit of trying to do everything perfectly. How do I set healthy boundaries and distinguish true responsibility from over-responsibility without feeling guilty?
First things first. The first necessity of any and every human being is to arrive at his maximum possibility, to realise his or her highest ideal and conception. All the rest comes later. This is especially so for this Age where the old bases and old forms, including the standard social formats, are being broken so that new and higher and greater possibilities can emerge. Individuals always spearhead the Society and those in whom the urge to progress has become conscious must respect this growing urge within them. The role of Society is primarily to curb the animal and the brute in us. But sometimes it oversteps its limits and tries to curb the evolving godlike nature in us. As long as the aim of the individual is to develop and actualise or realise its highest potential, there should be no problem. If anything, the people around should support it. It is only and only when the individualistic tendency is towards degeneration that Society should step in and support the person from coming out of this jump into the abyss.
Now, as this urge grows, what happens to the people and the world around us with which we are interconnected, be it family or the milieu in general? The watchword is balance. Surely it is not always easy to maintain the balance still it can be done if we have prioritise the different roles and responsibilities to which we are called upon. For example, bringing up the child, looking after family, etc should all be done in the spirit of karmayoga. It means that one should do one’s best but leave the rest to the Divine. One may or may not be understood, may even be criticised. Our decisions should not be based on what is true, right and best, keeping in mind one’s highest aspiration. The likes and dislikes of people should not be our criteria. The sum and substance is that our choices should not be made to satisfy ourselves or others. We should not live to make ourselves happy nor to make others happy. We should act based on what we feel is true and good and beautiful. All the rest is only endless complication.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
