Sexual orgasm is not just an animal thing. In animals it is a bait of pleasure to continue the species. In humans it is associated with a whole world of emotions and is supposed to mark a last physical consummation of two personalities joining together. The intense pleasure experienced is because of a sudden release of emotions, passions and much more and a consequent state of giving and forgetting of oneself. Where these finer elements are absent there the orgasmic experience is crude and even felt as distasteful and repulsive. But equally there are higher possibilities such as experiencing a deep inner release without the crude animal process, activated simply through touch or even subtle feelings. It is a question of development and sensitivity. It is possible even to experience joy in the mere thought of someone loved without any need of the physical act. In fact as the consciousness gets refined these inner processes or merely the act of holding each other and softer gentler ways of expression give a greater joy than the physical act which, though intense begins to feel crude and even painful. It is much like with taste. When we are crude we prefer spicy, animal food. But as we develop a sattwic, less spicy food is preferred.
Yoga is about this inner evolution out of the crudeness of our initial animal state to a more refined human and finally a higher spiritual and divine state in which the pleasure of orgasm completely changes into an inner merger of two souls, even two beings, fusing together in the Divine. The difference is that the cruder method keeps us tied to the limited pleasure of the body and senses with an eclipsing and loss of other higher possibilities. On the other hand conserving the lower energies and directing them upwards through conscious aspiration towards the Divine opens and activates the higher possibilities replacing crude pleasure with subtler sensations, refined joy and eventually, when purified of all desire even the greatest possible experience of delight. So it is upto each one whether one wants the fermented wine or the original somras of the Divine. The method as mentioned is primarily through aspiration and offering and some degree of self regulation until the higher replaces the lower.
Affectionately,
Alok Da