AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

I have a boyfriend, but my mom doesn’t like him. Whenever I ask my mom why she doesn’t like him, she says it’s because he doesn’t show her respect. She had certain expectations from him, and he hasn’t met them. When I tell my boyfriend about this, he doesn’t want to listen. He says he can’t change how he feels from within. I feel stuck in between. My mom is telling me to break up with him because she thinks he’s not a good match. I have heavy pressure from both sides. Now, I don’t know what to do? Because of this situation, I can’t focus on my work properly, and I’m also having trouble concentrating on Mother’s book reading and other stuff😭.

Well friendship is one thing and marriage quite another. In friendship it is enough that two people respect and trust each other though even there, a friend naturally extends his affection towards those who are the near and dear one’s of the friend. Inability to do so indicates a limitation of the capacity to love. Still that may not matter much in friendship where expectations are limited or none. But marriage is a lifelong committment where not just two persons but two families come together and share each other’s joy and grief. So it is better to sit and discuss these issues before embarking on a lifelong togetherness. Parents are a sensitive issue in Indian homes especially and at least a general goodwill and basic courtesousness is part of the marriage deal. Else the boat will be rocking on unstable grounds.

Affectionately,

Alok Da 

Share this…

Related Posts

Alok Da, I have got attached to someone after a physical intimacy (kind of night stands – about 4-5) but he is not. how to handle it. Actually I thought I am in love with him…so I allowed all that to happen…else i happened to be someone who wouldn’t let anyone touch me. What should I do? I am afraid of conveying my feelings to him as I know he is not going to reciprocate. I am just always craving his proximity, which i know is my problem.. How can I be at peace?? I want to detach myself from those feelings i have towards him?

What has happened has happened. It serves no purpose looking back and feeling bad. Life gives several learning lessons. This is one of them and a very precious one. One needs to understand that the way a woman feels and experiences life is very different from the …

Read More >

Administering medicine to my 1-year-old daughter is a challenge. She was underweight according to Australian standards and had a low appetite, so the doctor has suggested iron and multivitamin drops, which she absolutely despises. Initially, I would give them forcefully and we would both end up in tears. 👶🏻🩸😥🙏🏻🌼[…]

First with regard to the value of an action. It is not the action itself but the intent that matters most. Whatever you did was an act of love, with utmost goodwill for your child. That is all that is needed. I am sure this love and goodwill and your prayers all have gone into her improvement and not just the medicines…

Read More >