My birth chart shows Dhanu Rashi and Moola Nakshatra (1st Charan), and despite external pressure to alter my kundli, my family and I chose complete honesty and faith in The Mother. Now at 30, facing rejections and family anxiety, I see these failed proposals as Her quiet protection from unsuitable matches. However, insensitive comments from others sometimes test my patience and shake my inner peace. I genuinely wish to marry and experience motherhood, but I want to navigate this path with clarity and devotion.
Do kundli matching and gotra hold real spiritual significance?
How can I stay calm and hold onto my faith despite external pressure?
How do I know when a man is truly the right match for me?
Am I making any mistake in my approach or mindset?
It is our belief in something that puts us under its influence. But even then, there is nothing greater than the Divine Himself. Before the Mahabharata War all the Astrologers predicted that the Kauravas would win easily as all the stars were in their favour. But the stars became more and more powerless because Dharma was with the Pandavas and wherever there is Dharma, there there is Krishna. And where there is Krishna, there there is Victory. The Divine is above all and there is nothing above the Divine Grace.
The stars are simply a notation of the past. Their predictive value, whatever little it be, lies in the perpetuation of the past. They are not the determinants of our destiny. It is our Karma and Dharma that write the script of destiny and above even these two, is the Divine Mother’s Grace that overrules everything.
Besides, how do we know what is really good for us? Getting married is one thing but finding happiness in it quite another. How can we say that marraige will bring us the happiness we are seeking? In fact the idea of a perfect match and a perfect marraige is a myth. Life offers its set of challenges to everyone. Happiness depends upon how we navigate through them all. Relationship, like everything else, evolves and a lot depends upon the people, their values and attitudes that decides the fate of marraige. There is nothing like a perfect match. If you find someone who shares your highest aspiration and deepest values then get married. It will not necessarily ensure happy everafter fairytale life but at least a happy purposeful life, a meaningful togetheeness. It is the best one can have. If you find someone who shares common values and goals then get married. If not then enjoy being single which is very much possible in our times.
Parents will die one day and it is absurd to believe that stars and marraige of their children will protect or delay their time of departure. Each one brings their own destiny and marraige of children does not change it. It is only God’s Grace that intervenes and changes even the most fixed destiny.
Here is what The Mother has said on the subject of Astrology, horoscopes and destiny.
‘Astrology
Do not fear for your life—the astrologers do not always say the truth.
7 November 1939
The stars have no decisive influence. It is only if one does not believe in the Divine that one unnecessarily suffers by believing that they determine one’s life.
I have known many astrologers both in Europe and India. So far, nobody has been able to read the future correctly. There are three reasons for the failure. First, the astrologers do not know how to read the future properly. Secondly, the horoscope is always incorrectly made—unless a man is a mathematical genius. And even for such a person it is very difficult to make a correct horoscope. Thirdly, when people say that the stars in this or that house at the time of birth rule your life, they are quite wrong. The stars under which you are born are only “tape-recorders” of physical conditions. They do not rule the future of the soul. There is something beyond, which rules the stars themselves and everything else. The soul belongs to this Supreme Being. And if it is doing Yoga, then all the more it should never believe in the power of the stars or in any other power.
An astrologer who predicts a catastrophe for you is like a joker. Many jokers say things like, “Today you will break your neck!” But in spite of the joke nothing happens.
Only a great Yogi can tell you your future correctly. But even then there is the Supreme Will which alone controls and decides everything.
8 September 1961
6 May 1964
X who has been studying astrology has prepared my horoscope. I send it to you to see. Do you think the indications he has given in it for my future have any value?
The horoscope is sufficiently vague and favourable to be taken in consideration as the base of a mental conception for your future.
The most important factor in a horoscope is the intuitive faculty of the astrologer.
6 May 1964
Why do you believe in what the astrologers say? It is the belief that brings the trouble.
Sri Aurobindo says that a man becomes what he thinks he is.
1965
Horoscopes have no importance for those who take up yoga, because the influence that works through yoga is much more powerful than the influence of the stars.’
Affectionately
Alok Da
