There are several other things that they have said, and one has to take their entire writings on a subject to apply the thing correctly. It is not a question of doubt, – one should never doubt the Grace; it is about trying to compel the Grace by the force of one’s wish and desire. It is about understanding how the Grace acts. People do fall sick even in the Ashram, even among the closest disciples whose faith is unquestionable. And these people gave their lives to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. What I am simply saying is that faith without surrender, without the willingness to accept the Divine Will, whatever it be, for without this acceptance and surrender, faith is simply a bargain that depends upon the result and outcome.Â
Secondly, we must understand that each soul brings its own destiny. Our prayers help, but the person for whom we pray has her own destiny. It is not a simple rule equally applicable to all under all circumstances. Here is what Sri Aurobindo himself writes about prayers, which gives us the fuller picture.Â
‘As for prayer, no hard and fast rule can be laid down. Some prayers are answered; all are not. You may ask, why should not then all prayers be answered? But why should they be? It is not a machinery: put a prayer in the slot and get your asking. Besides, considering all the contradictory things mankind is praying for at the same moment, God would be in a rather awkward hole if he had to grant all of them; it wouldn’t do.
If one lives in the world, one can offer such prayers [for help in resolving worldly problems]; but one must not expect that the Divine shall fulfil all those prayers or think that he is bound to do so. When one is a sadhak, the prayer should be for the inner things belonging to the sadhana and for outer things only so far as they are necessary for that and for the divine work.
What you say about prayer is correct. That [impersonal prayer] is the highest kind of prayer, but the other kind also (i.e. the more personal) is permissible and even desirable. All prayer rightly offered brings us closer to the Divine and establishes a right relation with Him.
As for the prayers, the fact of praying and the attitude it brings, especially unselfish prayer for others, itself opens you to the higher Power, even if there is no corresponding result in the person prayed for. Nothing can be positively said about that, for the result must necessarily depend on the persons, whether they are open or receptive or something in them can respond to any Force the prayer brings down.
Prayers should be full of confidence and without sorrow or lamenting.’
So while I fully sympathise with your situation and even join your prayers, yet all that I am suggesting is to add full faith and surrender. It implies an intuitive knowledge that while we pray yet ultimately the Divine knows what is best, and if He chooses to take us through a difficult time rather than fulfilling our wish, then well, He knows best. To pray with faith but completely surrender to His Will, whatever It may be, is always the best thing to do.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
