During this service, I also have to answer questions, but since it requires speaking only a little, I am able to manage easily without any difficulty. How should I understand that I am not responsible for the strength I have received to do book distribution (that it is purely God’s grace)?
One does not easily get an opportunity to do service for the Divine in whatever capacity one gets. The real sense of this service is however not, as we might be tempted to think, that the Divine needs us for spreading His Word to ‘ignorant human beings’! He is quite capable of doing whatever He wants to do. He can pick up any person, even the most ignorant and make him an instrument for His Work. In fact, God is least interested in converting anyone to believe in Him or in a particular aspect of Him. Doesn’t Sri Krishna say in the Gita that He strengthens the faith of people in whosoever or whatsoever they believe in, ‘as men approach Me, in whatsoever faith, so I receive them’. In fact, He goes on to say that He strengthens the faith of human beings in whatsoever form they believe in. Yet we do many things in our ignorance and God accepts them and pours His Force through it if we do in the right attitude of remembering and offering and nishkama karma. In other words, it is not your strength to distribute books that He has chosen you, but rather accepted your service to Him as per your belief. And if you do it as nishkama karma, you will grow in strength and discernment and everything else.
2. On the other hand, how should I understand that I am responsible for my limitation (not being able to teach children due to unclear pronunciation) and that God is not responsible for it?
But who says you are responsible for your limitations? The reason for this limitation and all other limitations is ignorance. Even the best worker is limited as long as he is inwardly not conscious of the Divine or knows His Will and is consciously moved by Him. This is very rare. One doesn’t get rid of ignorance by joining a group or doing an activity apparently in the service of God. One gets rid of Ignorance and limitations by becoming conscious of what God wants us to do, as for example, He wanted Arjuna to fight. Simply doing temple work does not get us rid of Ignorance. For that, one should do karmayoga; works should become a means for union with the Divine. And that can be done through any work anywhere, including battle, provided we do it with the right attitude, sarvakarmani, as the Gita puts it.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
