AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER
Ask Alok da

How can I be kind, loving, and non-violent towards someone whom I feel hurt by? Especially in close relationships, it becomes difficult for me to remain non-reactive. I really do want to be loving despite what the other person has done, but I end up angry and resentful, which only makes my situation worse. My ‘want’ or ‘will’, no matter how strong it is, to still be loving and compassionate doesn’t help me. 🤝💛

Being kind, loving and compassionate may or may not help the other person, but it will certainly help you. Our body and mind respond to the forces we project in the environment. The barrel of the gun is the first to bear the heat of the bullet we fire. So too do our body and mind bear the brunt of the forces we project. The forces of anger and hate tend to cloud our consciousness and take away our peace before they hit or hurt the other person. Besides, the other person would react further and compound the effect. Both are losers caught in an endless game, drawing all kinds of negative forces and energies in our atmosphere that further harm us. Anger never changes anyone. Rather, it makes things worse.

Yes, it may be that the person with whom one is close is very unreasonable and hurtful. The right and wise course in such a case is to give space and time to the relationship. Say, allow 6 months of staying away and apart from each other. Let the storm settle down. Then one can take a conscious decision of staying away from each other or restart with a new understanding of what to expect and what to overlook. Even separation or staying away for a while is much better than quarrels and fights or anger and shouts. It helps no one and harms both.

Affectionately, 

Alok da 

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