If someone is deliberately blaming me, I feel that whatever I say is unlikely to be accepted. So remaining silent and offering the situation to the Mother gives me more peace than arguing. However, inwardly I still experience a shock. I wonder how people can knowingly behave in this way. How should one deal with this inner hurt? In Integral Yoga, how can one remain in peace and goodwill without becoming bitter, and how does one know when silence is the right movement and when one should speak for the truth?
Silence is always better when people try to insult you. Speaking up, retaliating over personal insults drags us down to the level of the person who is insulting. We unwittingly identify with the other person and sully our consciousness.
However, this silence should not be just an outer restraint while the inner being is boiling. It should be primarily a freedom from inner reactions, which comes when we understand that no one can understand us except the Divine. We offer all our hurts at the Feet of the Lord and pray not only that we be freed from the sting of insult and its reactions, but that the person who is insulting be also freed from the grip of this ugliness. For the one who insults others is opening doors of inner suffering for oneself more than for others. We should especially ask for Peace within us, in the other person and in the atmosphere in which one is living.
If this is difficult, then one should express oneself once and say firmly what one has to say, but without allowing vibrations of anger that are always harmful to both. But heated discussions and arguments help no one. They only end up harming everyone.
Affectionately,
Alok Da
